Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Jarvis Jones: Heisman Contender?

Watch this video carefully, as you'll be quizzed over it directly. Pardon the flying man-hawks, but they enhance the visual and make for some hella good special effects - just check the laser guns, should you have any doubts.


So why the hell is Flash Gordon mentioned in the same breath as Jarvis Jones (beside the sheer awesomeness)?
  1. He's awesome at football and will likely lead the New York Jets to the promised land - after he tells Quinton Coples he's worthless and finds "He Who Shall Not Be Named" a permanent role in "Amish in the City" because "his choir boy persona and permanent mediaboner was too much of a distraction to my dread flow and actually being good".
  2. Ming is the enemy. Well, if Ming is in a Will Muschamp costume.
  3. Throngs of supporting DIVE-ing Hawkmen to attack and ravage any Mingovian encroachment. And by throngs, I mean 67 scholarship athletes.
  4. Lastly, he's probably going to get an award for his toils in enemy airspace. Like a HEISMAN?
In all seriousness, I do believe Jarvis is a contender for the Heisman. Do I think he has a legitimate shot at winning? No, but does Johnathan Franklin, Geno Smith, or Le'Veon Bell?

The thing is, if he can keep having games like this where he basically wins it for us, he'll get a lot of pub and we'll be in the spotlight. It's nearly impossible to win the Heisman as a defensive player, but it's not out of the realm of possibility IF we are unbeaten and find ourselves playing in the NCG come the middle of December.

That's quite a lot of if's and I don't foresee any of it happening, but it's in the discussion. Let's not forget Matt Barkley in all of this talk. After all, he's another media darling in a Cardinal and Gold wrapper. Realistically there are only about three guys a year who really have a shot. One's a QB, one's a RB, and the third turns out to be a WR. The first two seem to rotate every year and the WR gets some fringe votes because gaudy stats, not necessarily because they deserve to be there.

OLB doesn't have a seem to have a real large place in the grand scheme of things. While it's certainly the darling of the defensive positions right now, it's no Playgirl centerfold. Sorry Jarvis, you ain't quite Sam Jones yet. It would tremendously help if you could somehow throw touchdown passes to Marqise Lee and Robert Woods AND sack the $hit out of quarterbacks.

YET is the operative word here; by December, who knows?

Voltan out.

DIIIIIIIIIVVVVVE!

1 comment:

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