Thursday, January 26, 2012

Tweet O' The Day: Watts on FASHION

I have a pet peeve, which involves a type of mostly black, tight leg-ged garment that, seemingly all college aged young women wear these days. They are conspicuously similar to this (in fitment, of course, but not necessarily hue)...

Have you been distracted and possibly nauseated by such a sight while minding your own business? Well, so too has Watts Dantzler, purveyor of fine leggings and dealer of wisdom in the areas wherein.

This seems like a simple rule, but for some odd reason, people just don't get it (see above). Furthermore, I'd argue that no one, regardless of size or stature, should wear tights as pants. There are a few reasons why:
  • Something called "moose knuckle". Believe me, all those guys aren't laughing at your super chic new Louis Vuitton that your mom bought you for Christmas.
  • Eventually you're going to end up griping when some dude downtown that you describe as a "total creeper" tries to put the moves on you and refers to the lack of "delineation among the Southern hemispheres". I leave you to figure that joke out. (HINT: It doesn't involve your "super-lame" geography class)
  • I don't go out in public in boxer-briefs and a 4XL neon t-shirt. Neither should you.
  • Not buying that they're "JUST SO COMFY". At no point have I ever felt such constrictive and impractical habiliments anything less than uncomfortable - that's the opposite of "COMFY".
So, in summation...

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