Friday, September 16, 2011

Tweet O' The Day: Dantzler and Lynch Battling an Impending Illness

There are quite a few serious maladies that can develop in a locker room. From your run of the mill athlete's foot, to the ever present high ankle sprain, and finally, most seriously, something like MRSA. If you don't know about that last one, just go to Wikipedia - it's far too gross to be discussed here.

Anyway, the newest thing that's catching seemingly everywhere around the world is COMPETITIVE EATING. Seriously, just check this list of gluttonous millionaires that are putting their chompers on display for a living and eating til the cows come home.
  • Adam Richman - Man V. Food
  • Joey Chesnut - Competitive Eater
  • Ellen DeGeneres - Alright, I lose points...
  • Anthony Bourdain - I wouldn't call him guttonous, per se, but he does make a lot of money.
Why am I mentioning this and what does it have to do with an illness issue betwixt our backup RT and our ginormous backup TE? Below.

I sure hope Artie and Watts have a trash can and some Pepto Bismol, otherwise their Sunday afternoon is gonna really suck and their Monday morning is going to be even worse. Stomach ache won't be a good word for what they'll be experiencing, so I have a few suggestions...
  • Try the "Four Saltines in a Minute" Challenge. You think you can do it, but without water, it's pretty much like eating sand after the first two. You can laugh to no end and you don't have to deal with what I'll affectionately call a "milk hangover", which is probably worse than the real kind.
  • "Krystal Square Off" - $20's and sh!t tons of Krystals with the winner taking all. Can't go wrong with that.
  • The "Calzones at Peppino's Shovedown" is something that I always wanted to try. Try to stay coherent after 7000 calories and 3lbs. of ricotta cheese. Your blood congeals in your veins and you just pass out from lack of oxygen to the brain.
I will say this, if Artie is doing this every week, I'll have what he's having.


  1. did it once with 7 other people. everyone ended up vomiting. First the milk, then whatever your last meal was, then blood. Same for everyone.

  2. Cousin Eddie-
    wonder if this is part of the new nutrion program?