Thursday, July 14, 2011

Thursday Thrash: "Kyrie" Eleison on Derrick Lott

Thursday Thrash is a weekly segment in which we incorporate some of the greatest songs of all time (mostly metal, but not always) into a topically relevant post revolving around current issues at the University of Georgia. As a note, artistic liberties will be frequently used in this relation. Basically, the only premise/rule is that I can't put on some crappy Shania Twain song or some no-talent lightning catcher with autotune (see KESHA).

As you know, Derrick Lott had a little dust up this Tuesday. If you didn't already know about it, it wasn't your traditional Knoxville bar fight or Gainesville nightclub attempted shootout. No, it was your typical UGA scooter incident -- only there was a self-inflicted injury involved and no citations were issued for blowing a nose too loudly or not having a valid library card. Surprising on those last three right? Athens-Clarke County thought so too...

For some insight on the situation, look no further than the Macon Telegraph's finest, Seth Emerson:

Georgia defensive end Derrick Lott was involved in a scooter accident on Tuesday, leading to surgery on his lower right leg. The redshirt sophomore is expected to make a full recovery within four-to-six weeks, according to the team.

“The driver was parking his scooter and he scrapped the side of the building and his leg. Not a real dramatic incident,” said Lt. Eric Dellinger of the UGA police department.

Dellinger added that “there was no indication that there was any impairment or anything of that matter.” There were no charges filed. 

Thanks for that clarification Lt. Dellinger. I was really worried that Lott would be piss drunk, without a license, and carrying a concealed weapon at 4'oclock in the afternoon. Notice my above comment. Come on, seriously?

From our "sources" around Athens, Lott had a pretty nasty looking gash and there was apparently bone showing when it wasn't obscured from the pouring blood. You don't spend 18 hours in the hospital (Lott checked out somewhere around 10:30 yesterday morning I'm told), because of a flesh wound. Don't know the stitch count, but it's certainly more than a few.

At any rate, after you read the title of this post your first reaction was probably, "SCAT CAT!" or "GAZUNTITE!". Thanks for the thought, but I didn't sneeze -- that's a little Greek for you. Considering the kewlness factor in putting a Greek phrase in the title of your song, uber 80's pop rock band Mr. Mister decided it was far too easy to pass up. And besides, who really would think a song with that many synthesizers and a baseline that could make Huey Lewis jealous should be called "Lord have mercy". Turns out "Kyrie" was a much better, far more cool way to make their way to the top of the charts.

So be a little bit more careful Derrick, we don't need that d-line looking like the o-line. I mean Lord have mercy, we can't buy any good luck can we?

Happy Thrashing (sort of) you filthy mongrels.

No comments:

Post a Comment