Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Ray Drew Name Sweepstakes Claims a Winner

Because of the wildly successful challenge I issued yesterday in the 47 Days: Ray Drew and Fun With Nicknames post, I thought it would be fruitful to declare a winner in the sweepstakes. There are some arbitrary criteria that the winners had to meet and I'll list them below. These were assembled by the crack team of judges that randomly volunteered to officiate this contest.

The team consisted of a rather low-key crew of Simon Cowell, Joan Rivers, Bob Barker, and Richard Dawson. Actually the team consisted of me, myself, and I, but if I were to create an awesome team of judges in my head it would be these ladies and gents. Anyway, here's the criteria:

  • Must be original - Sorry, but "Minister of Defense" just ain't gonna cut it. May be the favorite, but I don't know if he can be the minister of defense because, as one commentor pointed out, that's Reggie White's spot.
  • It can't be good just because it rhymes. A fifth-grader can do that.
  • I like to be alliterative, but again, can't be good just because of that.
  • WITTY is the key.
We had some pretty strong contenders, and I thank all of the commentors, but the winner is...

ANON 2:43 with (in the appropriate colors):

Mountain Drew

The reasoning you ask - He's big, his last name is Drew, and - MOST OF ALL - this nickname has no actual significance to defense if he ends not being a huge factor right out of the box. He's a very good talent, but like I said yesterday, OLB is a really tough position to see a huge impact in the freshman year.

Thanks to all those who participated. We really appreciate the feedback.

Now for the important part, what do you all think?


  1. You know that's a Pepsi drink, right?

  2. Very weak selection of nicknames: (1) As an erudite commenter pointed out this is a Pepsi product and we're in Coke country,(2) This name does not indicate that he is a defender (3) How can he really be the "Mountain" if Jenkins and Kwame are on the team? I demand a recount!

  3. I don't guess any of you have been to the grocery store recently and noticed the huge cubes of Mountain Dew moving out of the store like ash out of Mt. St. Helens.

    Yes, I know it's Coke country, but there's a reason that Pepsi sells more 16oz. MDs that Coke sells Coca-Colas, Diet Cokes, ETC. of the same size.

    Rednecks gotta have that DEW!

  4. Ray "Dr Blue" Drew
    Ray "Wow Wow" Drew
    "Doctor" Drew
    Ray "Major Pain" Drew
    Ray Ban Drew
    Uncle Knuckle
    "Dr Feelbad"
    Ray "Doctor of Dread" Drew

    BIG PLAY RAY!!!!!!!!!
    BIG PLAY RAY!!!!!!!!!

  5. Pastor of Disaster!

  6. It was a poor choice, but I reckon the colored writing clinched it, eh? "Pastor of Disastor" was validated several times over.

    The "Mountain" part is usually reserved for 300lb + linemen and doesn't fit him at all. You screwed your own reward/trophy up. Sorta like "The Director" when they oversold and had to make the play fail. This way you get more clicks.

  7. Appreciate the comments, L's and G's - one quick question...

    How is everything automatically about clicks?

    I make up possibly the most asinine, ridiculous faux contest and lace it with a bunch of sarcasm and I still get accused of click hoarding?

    Does anyone think I tried to legimately qualify this selection based on the criteria set forth? The only real reason that I chose this is because I find it funny that people LOVE mountain dew so much and dislike my silly nick name pick so much.

    I do agree with you on Pastor of Disaster being the fan favorite, however.

  8. didn't see the competition yesterday, but here are a few more Ray Drew"isms":

    Pastor of Pass-Rush
    Minister of Mayhem
    Reverend of Recruitment

    Hope you enjoy