Friday, July 1, 2011

64 Days: Dallas Lee

Dallas and little brother Dillon, a
recent BAMA commit.
(Photo by Michael Carvell, AJC)


Well, well, well... today we have a an actual Georgia player to talk about. Pickins have been slim lately, but there's a lineman on the team that proudly puts on "The G" every Saturday in fall with a 64 on it. You may not have seen this character on the field yet, but nonetheless, he does possess it. Who is it you ask? Hold your breath for a second.

I know you may not believe this, but today is a very special Friday on the blog. We've shaken some of our networking branches on LinkedIn, and come up with a pretty famous guest that's going to discuss today's spotlighted player. Yes, I also know that you're surprised that LinkedIn actually is good for something besides spamming your email, but please don't mind the spinning room around you. You'll really get dizzy with incredulity here in a sec.

Enough with the build-up. Our guest really needs no introduction, as he's the most famous stock market guru on the tube. That's right folks, we've wrangled Jim Cramer of "Mad Money" to give us some insight on #64, Dallas Lee.

Cramer: WOW! BOOYA... BOOYA... GREAT TO BE HERE GUYS. CAN'T TELL YOU HOW JACKED I AM TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING BESIDE THE MARKET! (Hits button for "Stars and Stripes" theme with cow moo.)

MVD: Well Jim, you're pretty chipper today. I'm surprised. By the way, do you take that soundboard (Click for ensuing hilarity) with you everywhere? It looks at least a little cumbersome.

JC: LIKE I SAID, I'M JACKED! THERE'S GREAT BARGAINS OUT THERE! LOOK AT AUBURN - TWO THUMBS UP, WAAAAY UP! MASSIVE VALUE!

MVD: Alright, this isn't about Auburn. Frankly, I've heard enough outta those jackwagons. Can we talk about Georgia?

JC: ME TOO! END OF THEIR ROPE (Sell, Sell, Sell button gets slammed). YOU'D THINK THERE'D BE MORE OPTIMISM WITH THE NCAA BAILOUT THEY'RE GETTING. NO DICE.

MVD: Alright, seriously... You gotta get off this or I'm gonna vomit. What do you think about the Dawgs this season.

JC: TWO THINGS FOR YA - (flatline button and guillotine get whacked simultaneously). I'M TELLING YA MARTY, BOOYA. SELL, SELL, SELL!!! TOTAL UTTER RED FLAG! NOT GONNA HOLD UP WITH THAT 6-7 YIELD!!!

MVD: Fair enough... So how's Bear Stearns doing right now?



Cramer: THAT'S BULL("MOOO" button). WINNERS KEEP WINNING BABY. (Rolls up sleeves to form cutoff-looking dress shirt) LOOK GEORGIA, $86 MILLION IN REVENUE, GOOD SPORTING PORTFOLIO, BUT SKILL POSITION JERSEY SALES ARE WEAK. OH YEAH, AND FLORIDA MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A RED-HEADED STEPCHILD EVERY YEAR!!! SHORT IT!!!

MVD: Now that we know what you think about the program and considering that you're ALWAYS right, what do you think about UGA's #64, Dallas Lee?

CRAMER: (Breaks the bear growl button faster than a she-wolf with 8 pups snuffs out a cuddly bunny) TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN!!! PUT IT ON THAT NO. 72!!! STRONG PLAY IN A VERY ILLIQUID ENVIRONMENT!!!

MVD: Thanks for your time Jim. Now don't go and mistake what's left in that box of powdered donuts at the building's entrance for box of "Happy Dust".

Forecast
Cramer didn't seem really convinced that Dallas would find his way to some meaning snaps this year. I'm afraid that I'm inclined to agree. After not really practicing in the spring due to a very mysterious "asthma-like" issue that has been avoided in questioning by the coaching staff like the plague, I'm more than a little concerned about his future in Athens.

I hope this issue gets resolved and Lee turns on the lights in a big way, but something just doesn't feel right with him. After being given ample opportunity at guard, he can't seem to find playing time over a younger guy like (former teammate) Kolton Houston. Hmmm, this "asthma" deal seems fishy - kinda like Richt's comments in the spring surrounding questions about Brent Benedict. We all know where that ended up.

So is Lee going to end up another four-star offensive lineman in the black hole that seems to be UGA's   big ugly brigade? I don't know and I hope not, but indications aren't leading me to a positive conclusion.

Good luck big fella. I hope you get it sorted out.

GATA



Next up: No. 63, Xzavier "No It's Not Xzibit" Ward

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