Tuesday, July 5, 2011

60 Days: Ben Jones

No grass for you D-Rich (top-left)? Ben sure seems
to be enjoying...

It's an important day on the countdown today. Not that any of the other days are less important, but lets be frank - our team just wouldn't be the same without #60. If you don't know to whom I'm referring, I won't punch you in the throat this time, but watch out cause it's coming if you ask me after today. Today's honoree is none other than the anchor of our offensive line and, while he isn't on his day job, Insane Clown Posse frontman, Ben Jones.

If you were completely unaware of what goes on inside of Ben's mind during a football game, I tracked down an actual artist's rendition of what bounces around in there during those 60 minutes he's on the football field.

He also pisses excellence...
There's nothing else more crazy than man-sharks beating up on silverback gorillas because, well... mansharks don't exist. If they did exist however, Ben Jones would be the apex manshark and would do whatever the eff he wanted, including beating up on hapless lowland gorillas if they gave him any lip.

What should be in this photo is a sasquatch getting roughed up by Ben the manshark. They don't exist (according to some silly people), but it would probably be the most epic fictitious battle of all-time.

And yes, for those of you keeping track at home, that does include Godzilla vs. Gigan and Destoroyah.


It's no secret that Ben Jones is the craziest guy on the team. I think he's also the heart of it. He (and Christian Robinson for the D) appears to be the most vocal leader on the offense. While some might say that is Aaron's title, that sort of comes with the territory of being the team's QB.

For my money, Jones is the best interior guy in the conference. He plays with the meanest of streaks, doesn't care to mix it up, and is a hell of a center. He likely won't be the first-team nominee at the end of the season because there's a more sexy option at a school that ends in -bama (Vlachos), but he gets my vote. If I were to start a team from scratch, he'd certainly be at the top of the list for more than a few reasons. Probably my favorite offensive player because A) he's a lineman; B) he's a lineman; C) he's a lineman; and D) he's a lineman.

Those cats just don't get enough credit.


Next up: No. 59, Long-snapper extraordinaire, Nathan Theus

1 comment:

  1. He was the only bright spot in the Alabama game. I can still see him fighting Mt Cody like a BB on an Elephant but by Dawg he fought him, so much so the TV announcers pointed it out on the air. That is a very rare occurrence.