Thursday, June 23, 2011

72 Days: Kenarious Gates

A stare frightening enough make sand out of rocks...

We're a full four weeks into the countdown here at From Hedges to Hardwood and, like I uttered last week, for those of you who are still making this little 2011 season rundown rag a daily read, I congratulate you. You've survived a full 28 days of lame potty humor and silly movie references.

I hope you're ready for 71 more.

Today's participant is none other than former Kentucky turnaround, Kenarious Gates. If you didn't catch the title of my post, he's number 72. Just so you're clear, he's from Greenville, GA, so there's no worry that he's fleeing the country come July 1st. 100% American - HB 87 gives us no cause for alarm that our depth chart will be affected by bureaucratic arm wrestling. Hooray!

Speaking of arm wrestling, I can't help but throw this in when I mention arm wrestling. If you don't like chopped up clips of Sly Stallone with Kenny Loggins spliced in the background and t-sirt exercising on your truck's cattle guard, well... as they say... you can't get the hell out.

Notice that was the real version of Meet Me Halfway, not some autotune crap with Fergie and Will.I.Am. You know... come to think of that, Fergie should really amp up her acting game. If you saw the Super Bowl halftime show, you know to what I'm referring.

But enough about awesome 80's music and awesome'er 80's movies, this day is about Kenarious Gates. I'm sure he would be thrilled that I am talking about Kenny Loggins, as he is a fan huge as well. What, you didn't know that? Well, you might also be interested in the following not-so-widely known facts about Gates:

  • He once ate Kashi Go Lean Crunch for breakfast. He subsequently concluded three bites into the bowl, "I think this is actually made by PETA because I won't be able to eat anything but pureed fruits and vegetables after it."
  • After trying to put on a Kentucky hat and sign his LOI, he suddenly broke out in hives, so he committed to Georgia. He later found out that he was allergic to the color blue. For the trip out to Colorado, he requested that Delta remove all blue fabric from the cabin. After they said that it wouldn't be possible to reupholster the seats, he quickly developed a peanut allergy and demanded that those also be removed. The entire flight was really future-pissed off that they couldn't have those tasty morsels of salty goodness.
  • He would rather play Connect4 versus Jenga.
  • Was on an episode of Swamp People and gave Troy a hand landing a massive 23-foot, 4000 pound gator. Instead of "CHOOOOOT, CHOOOT"-ing the gator, Gates just stared at it and the gator voluntarily died to avoid a live skinning at the hands of KG.
  • Speaking of "KG", is offended that Kevin Garnett's initials are also his own. "ANYTHANG AIN'T POSSIBLE - LIKE YOU TAKIN' AND HITTIN' A BIG SHOT IN THE FOURTH QUARTER," Gates said.
  • Collects marionette puppets. Not because he's a puppeteer, but because they strike terror in even the most logical, un-frightenable people. Kenarious takes tips from even inanimate objects.... or at least you think they're inanimate.
Despite my random attempts at humor, Kenarious is a certifiable bada$$. I would also like to point out the fact that he was a 3-star rated recruit coming out of high school, which helps substantiate my hypothesis on offensive linemen. If you get a guy who has good measurables and is athletic, has a fierce mean streak, and a good work ethic/attitude, you can can pretty much rest assured that you've done well - no matter what some "recruiting service" says. Ben Jones, Nick Jones, Fernando Velasco, Chester Adams, and Clint Boling ring a bell? I can go on...

I really like Kenarious' game and the coaches seem to as well. You don't get time as a true freshman on the OL unless you're pretty darn good. I can see Gates being a top-50, maybe even first-rounder, one day if he continues to progress. I liken his skills and athleticism to former Bizarro-Dawg and now Green Bay Packer, Derek Sherrod.

Because of the aforementioned comments, here comes my 2nd BOLD (in bold) prediction of the pre-season. I predict that you'll see Mr. Gates on the All-SEC list come December. I'm not sure if it will be at guard or tackle, but at this point, I'm very nervous about depending on Justin Anderson to keep Devin Taylor or Ronald Powell off of Aaron Murray on passing downs. Depending on how that plays out, we'll see where he's placed.

So big fella, you have the ability - what say you make me a Mr. Cleo?


Next up: No. 71, Cordy "The Boats of " Glenn "Carrig" 

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