Tuesday, May 17, 2011

SURPRISE!!! Gator Hoopsters' Charges Reduced to 2nd Degree Misdemeanor

I'll have to say I was pretty surprised to see that Erik Murphy and Cody Larson's felony charges disappeared from the rap sheet very, very quietly. I know you were also dually surprised when you read this headline.

In case you didn't notice my sarcasm, WHAT THE EFF IS UP WITH ALL OF THIS? Isn't there a crooked lawyer in cahoots with the cops around Athens too? If not, can we take up a collection for one?

Here are some things that went through my head when I heard that the FELONY BURGLARY CHARGES had been reduced to misdemeanors.
  • When you spot someone trying to break into a car it's hard to get your wires crossed. I know I always am torn when I see someone trying to pry a car door open in a dark parking lot. 
  • I know that I don't have any bad thoughts in mind when I "accidentally" demolish front headlights on random cars throughout various parking lots around town. I guess Erik tripped and rammed his brass knuckles through the light without the intent to harm anyone else's property. I try to "accidentally" do it with a bat- much less likely for me to cut my wrist and bleed out.
  • The first thing I'd do while being trapped in a police car for an hour while innocent is talk about how screwed I am and how, after some time, I've convinced myself that "we'll get off". I won't say a word about how I just got caught up in some unfortunate circumstance and am really innocent.
  • A guy with priors like Larson would never, ever do anything like that- especially since he's already on probation.
  • People who aren't guilty of a felony always say, "They don’t have anything on us." Isn't that the damn purpose?
I saw this coming like a shot to the nuts on "America's Funniest Videos". That doesn't mean that it still won't tick me off every single time.

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