Thursday, April 7, 2011

SURPRISE!!! Stephen Garcia's Suspended Again


In what could be the most unsurprising news story to come out of Columbia in years, Goldilocks Garcia has been suspended from the team for the 233rd time since he came to South Carolina in the summer of 1972. Woah.. . wait a minute, the most unsurprising story will be his curious reinstatement in 3 weeks, or if it's an extended suspension, just before we play the Cocks on September 10th.

Supposedly, Garcia showed up to a team meeting reeking of alcohol last night. I guess there's a reason that they play nothing but techno music in Columbia- I feel like it's 1985 and I'm in a bad Eddie Murphy music video.



 This guy has to be the biggest dirtbag I've ever had the courage of witnessing play college football. At any other institution this guy would have been kicked off the team after he played scratch and sniff on a professor's new ride. Now, eighteen incidents and three spring practice suspensions later, Garcia "just keeps rollin, brah". The natives seem to be getting a little restless at the newest flub, which should be noted, as Cock fans seemingly always believe their guys are the best in the country at everything.

I've never had any respect for Steve Spurrier. Garcia will sit out for the rest of spring as usual and then Darth Visor will proclaim that his starting job is in jeopardy. He'll subsequently play every meaningful snap in every game this year- well, almost every one. You have to account for the 3-4 games in which he'll get pulled in the third quarter for two series, only for DV to discover that the backup sucks worse and is forced back into action.

That's why I'll never have any respect for Carolina, Spurrier, or Stephen Garcia. Shouldn't Goldilocks be at some random JUCO by now?

1 comment:

  1. IMHO, "the biggest dirtbag" role is reserved for Brandon Spikes and a few of his teammates. And there are three other SEC institutions in which the young Mr. Garcia would still be playing and all three have one a MNC in the past 10 years.

    I'm not defending Garcia, he's high on the dirtbag list but until reports of drugs, wife/girlfriend beatings, shooting of AK-47s in a crowded parking lot, armed robbery with a BB gun, Armed robbery with a REAL gun, etc. come out into the public view...then Garcia is just an immature, self-centered, egotystical dirtbag. All of the infractions listed above - NONE were kicked off of their team permanently.

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