Tuesday, March 15, 2011

We Pick the Tuesday "First Four" Matchups

Frankly, I'm really not excited about tonight's games... at all.  A snooze fest between two VERY uninteresting headscratchers (UAB and Clemson) and two really, really awful potential 16 seeds. And when we're comparing awful snooze fests, think "Sex and the City 2" with the cast of "The Golden Girls". Actually, I'm pretty sure that Betty White would most definitely be better to look at than Kim Cattrall or especially Julia Louis-Dreyfus.... I mean Wondy Pierre-Louis.... I mean Sarah Jessica-Parker.

I'm gonna throw some pretty heavy stats at you and really, really dig into these two games. For those of you who, like Joe Lunardi and Jerry Palm, didn't come out of your "stat tent" until late yesterday afternoon, I'm sure you'll love it.

Actually, to hell with all that. I've had so many RPI's, SOS's, and STI's.... er wait a minute... thrown at me over the last few days that I'm quite tired of the lunacy that all those stats create right around this time of the year.


UNC Asheville (-4) vs. Arkansas Little-Rock, o/u 129

This could be the absolute worst game to date played in the NCAA tournament. This will feature two teams that couldn't beat the likes of Denver or USC-Upstate. In order to pick this game, I'm going to use realtimerpi.com's vaunted metric of "Bad Loss Question Mark Counting".

If you have a bad loss you get one "?" and a really bad loss gets you a "??". A quality win gets you a "$" and a high quality win notches a "$$". I'll be measuring the net effect of the two. Very scientific, I know. 

Arkansas Little-Rock: 17 "?" - 1 "$" = 16 "?"
UNC Asheville: 14 "?" - 0 "$" = 14 "?"

And there you have it, take the-


12 Clemson (-4.5) vs. 12 Alabama-Birmingham, o/u 121.

And now for the really easy call. I've heard quite enough about Brad Brownell and his "great job" at Clemmons. And add to this that he coaches a team whose main color is orange, and it makes this a really makes easy choice. 

Orange is Ugly. I really want to make like South Park Meredith Vieira and vomick* everywhere.


*Artistic license

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