Monday, February 14, 2011

Cam Newton is About to Get One of Those Big, Cardboard, 4-Feet Long Checks Like In Happy Gilmore From Under Armour

Whomever didn't see this coming obviously had their solar eclipse shades on. As reported by CNBC this morning, Newton will likely be unveiling the largest ever rookie endorsement deal later today. In a related story, 567,461 new jokes containing Brinks Trucks, Kevin Plank, and Daddy Newton were instantaneously envisioned in the minds of opposing fans around the Southeast.

Here's to wishing him all of the worst luck with the ongoing investigation, though it looks like he's gonna thumb his nose at us about the whole thing.



  1. Whoever drafts Newton becomes my new least favorite team.

  2. My slightly uneducated guess says the Redskins.

  3. I'm with Anon 2:41pm.whoever drafts Newton will be my lease favorite team. Even if it were to be the Falcons (not that they would consider him anyway...)

  4. and Under Armour has become my least favorite sports clothing...gotta rid of what I've got!