Tuesday, November 23, 2010

New Feature! The Horrifyingly Dreadful, Appallingly Incompetent Suck-O-Meter

"The Horrifyingly Dreadful, Appalingly Incompetent Suck-O-Meter" (or "Cincinnati Bengals") is a new feature that will run every Tuesday. This post will feature the most horrifyingly dreadful and appallingly incompetent performances (I know. You had no idea.) from the prior week and compare them to a infamously-or famously-bad movie. For example, USC's disgusting performance in Corvallis this weekend would rate somewhere between "Showgirls" and "Mrs. Doubtfire". "Showgirls" because, well... it's USC even though the end result looks like a partial-birth abortion. Just like "Mrs. Doubtfire", I find it extremely hard to stomach Lane Kiffin in more than 5 second doses.

The first honoree of this prestigious designation is.........


The entire western division of the SEC is a complete joke. Their combined record is 12-9, with tough losses like Nicholls State, UNC-Asheville, Samford, and the Campbell Camels. Alabama lost to the St. Peter's Peacocks last night at home 50-49. Just to give you some background on the Peacocks, St. Peter's is located in Jersey City, New Jersey and has an erollment of 3,282, which is about 200 less than Collins Hill High school. It participates in the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference with Rider, Manhattan, Iona, Siena, and Marist among others.

If I really wanted to point the finger at SEC West basketball, my index would be pointing directly to the entire state of Alabama, where Tony Barbee and Anthony Grant's squads have gone a combined 3-6. I'm sure glad the Bammers jumped with both feet on Grant right now, otherwise he'd probably be in Athens.

The star of this group is Mississippi State, but I'm not so convinced they're that great either. Dee Bost and Renardo Sidney are suspended for awhile because of various reasons. They do have some quality scorers on the team with these two, Ravern Johnson, and Kodi Augustus. Speaking of Augustus, I think he's going to be a very, very good player this year for them. He's a senior and is averaging 20/12 per game. Anyway, defense looks to be a problem for these guys, as they're averaging about 72 points allowed per game.

Mississippi State is the only team west of Georgia in the SEC that will even sniff an NCAA birth. I'd say it's automatic that LSU, Auburn, won't finish above .400 and Arkansas will probably end up firing John Pelphrey. CJP has been on the hot seat since we beat the Hogs in the SEC Championship game and it's rightly deserved. I'm not a fan at all of that guy.

Simply put, the SEC West sucks.

That's why it's our first submission to the Suck-O-Meter.

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