Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Georgia Coaching Staff: South Park Style

For those of you who don't watch South Park, you're missing out on one of the funniest shows on television. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are geniuses. If you've never watched the show, they often take social, political, or societal issues and illustrate how ridiculous people act about them. I often marvel at how they come up with the material every week for new episodes.

While watching last week's episode "The Coon 2" which is about the Gulf Oil Spill, it dawned on me that our coaching staff is a lot more like the kids of South Park than I realize.

"Chef": Rodney Garner

Rodney Garner not only looks like Chef, he also rolls like Chef. His chief responsibilities are to woo recruits, much like Chef befriends the children, and to come up with pertinent advice in the form of lucious, lascivious soul songs. Like Garner, these songs often gave the children advice that only served to confuse them more and turn their once five-star status into average production at the college level. Once given time to find out for themselves, or go to the NFL, the children once again play up to their lofty high school status.

"Kenny": Stacy Searels
Stacy and Kenny both share a common love of sweatshirts and muffled speech. Most of his speech that can be clearly understood is often extremely volatile and expletive laden, just as I imagine Searles' is. In the first six seasons of South Park Kenny dies in almost every episode. It's hard for me to imagine that Stacy doesn't want to die in those sweats in the 95 degree heat of Athens during the summer. 

"Cartman": Mike Bobo

Cartman is the guy that everyone loves to hate. He is the antagonist of the show and who Stan, Kenny, and Kyle direct much of their ire. In the episode "Fishsticks," Cartman believes that he solely created a gag that sweeps the nation, despite the fact that fellow school mate Jimmy wrote the joke on his own only to have Cartman take credit for it. This sounds a lot like Mike Bobo getting credit, or more correctly flak, for running Mark Richt's offensive system. Cartman is a necessary character on the show because, if he weren't there, no one would have anyone to piss and moan about. There's also the outside chance that Cartman is actually being genuinely good at times, only it's a trick to suck you in until you realize he doesn't know he's playing with fire. 

"Butters": John Lilly
The kids of South Park usually treat Butters as the Black Sheep of the group. It seems like if I didn't know John Lilly was on staff I would have no idea who the guy was. You never hear anything from him but when you do it typically mirrors the sentiment of Mike Bobo- just like Butters always goes along with Cartman. He usually exhibits a calm and wholesome attitude no matter how much he is criticized for the seriously underwhelming performance of his tight ends, which epitomizes Butters personality. He also seems fidgety and uncomfortable at times.

"Kyle" Mark Richt
Kyle is Jewish and frequently receives notoriety because of his religious affiliations, which make him feel like somewhat of an outsider. The most appropriate comparison of Kyle and Richt are their anticipation of Christmas time. Like Richt, Kyle waits for a "Christmas Poo", or what you could call the Independence or Music City Bowl, every year to really get the holiday season off to an inspiring start. Kyle also displays the tendency to be susceptible to irritability and impatience, especially at those who pop off constantly and are "outside the arena".

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