Friday, October 1, 2010

Because of Dawgola's "superior" gambling intellect, and his 6-7 record so far, he has asked me to do him a favor and make the picks this week. I'm sure his only reason for doing this is to rib me next week about how I went 0-3 and "At least I didn't parlay all three of these." Needless to say, I don't frequently make wagers on sports. Too many times I see a line and think, "WTH were the guys in Vegas thinking? 7.5 points? If only Black Jack were this easy." Three days and $25 later I have different ideas.

Since this probably will be a short-lived BTFF stint, WTH were the guys in Vegas thinking? I should set up camp inside the sports book at the Venetian. Just like Jimmy Johnson and EXTENZ, we only do things big around here. Take note readers, you won't find picks this good anywhere else. Gambling gods be damned, STRAIGHT CASH HOMIES! (Home teams in CAPS)

Virginia Tech at (23)NC STATE (+3.5) -- This looks to be one of those WHAT? type of lines. The Wolfpack is coming off of a huge road win on North Avenue last week. The Hokies, well they are just coming off... the tracks. They were dominated by Boise, notwithstanding the score, and got handled at home by 1-AA power James Madison. Since the two underwhelming performances Beamer's boys are 2-0, beating ECU and BC handily. Tyrod Taylor is Stephen Garcia without any good receivers. This and Russell Wilson spell doom for "Beamer Ball" (ugh, if I hear that one more time).
PICK: NC State (+3.5)

Tennessee at (12)LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY (-16.5) -- If you're a Tennessee fan, you haven't seen a line like this is at least 25 years. Tennessee is very, very bad this year. They should have lost to UAB last week, who came back from a 16 point second half deficit. On the other side of the coin you have Les Miles. Beware, don't let the 4-0 record fool you. LSU is 11th in the conference is total offense at 299 YPG and Jordan Jefferson looks like an epileptic in a room fool of strobe lights. This contest has the possibility of being very, very ugly. Spectators be cautious of flying punters legs.
PICK: Tennessee (+16.5) (More on this game in a bit)

(9)Stanford at (4)OREGON (-6.5) -- Stanford is the sexy pick here, as about 65% of the money is going on their way. Corso would say, "Not so fast my friend." Oregon has way too many speedy black guys and Stanford has way too many biomechanical engineering majors for this game to be that close. Sorry, but there aren't enough flyin' Hawaiians to give them a chance.

SPECIAL! HEAD IMPLOSION PICK OF THE WEEK (tm) -- Brought to you by Bosley Medical and TUMS. Because there's nothing worse than worrying about your sandtrap and having heartburn while watching the Dawgs play this weekend!

For my HEAD IMPLOSION PICK OF THE WEEK (tm), I decided to go a little crazy with some sure fire bets. It you really wanna make some quick scratch check the INSANITY below. A parlay will certainly leave you speechless.... and possibly RICH! (Picks in RED)

Tennessee at (12)LOUISIANA STATE UNIVERSITY (UNDER 42.5) -- See above. LSU's D is GOOD, Tennessee's O looks like a sloth in a tar pit. No way LSU scores 43 alone.
Notre Dame (-3) at BOSTON COLLEGE -- Boston College is abysmal. Brian Kelly's D can't stop air, but look for ND to score in the 1000's.
Kentucky (+3) at OLE MISS -- Kentucky has been a surprise this season, especially QB Brian Hartline. Ole Miss, not so much. Hartline and Randall Cobb run rampant in GIGGITYLAND.

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